found out my sister is cheating on her bf - what do i do?
By - throwaway624589
Tell him , he deserves better
You tell him and tell your sister don't be an asshole and do better as a Human being
> I spoke to my mum about the situation and she said that I should speak to my sister first. However, she also seemed to imply that if I made my sister see reason and she stopped talking to Marcus, than Dean never needed to know she cheated.
> My mum then said that if I told Dean the truth that I would irreversibly damage my relationship with my sister. She also called me judgemental for not wanting to listen to and be supportive of my sister.
Your mum gives some rather poor advice, on all fronts.
No, you shouldn't speak with your sister first. That'll just give her a heads up, to prep excuses, to delete those messages, to gaslight Dean into what's happening, and blame you for trying to start "drama".
No, the relationship won't be irreversibly damaged by your actions. It will be because of the actions of your sister. Your mum may be trying to keep the peace with this line of thinking, but that will result in an innocent person getting hurt in the process.
> I feel morally obligated to tell Dean what’s going on, although I don’t know him that well (him and my sister have been dating for only a couple of months). But I don’t want to completely ruin my relationship with my sister. I also had the thought that, if she stops talking to Dean completely, she will run right back to Marcus. I’m so distressed about this situation, please help.
If your sister decides to go back to her abusive Ex, then that is her decision as a full grown adult. It doesn't matter what happens anyway, because it seems she's already on her way towards him. Besides, knowing what you know, would you feel comfortable in your heart with basically using Dean as a proxy hostage in this screwed up situation?
> What do I do?
You should do what you feel is right. But I do applaud you for at least giving it a lot of thought, from different perspectives. It's very mature, and it seems you're the only adult in your family (no offense to your sis and mum). Regardless of what you decide, do make sure to have a talk with your sister about her behavior, and your concerns.
Let dean know, that would be fair
Warned your sister that you know the truth and if she doesn’t tell the truth and own it, you feel obligated to tell Dean. Your conscience won’t let you keep it a secret, you don’t want to be part of her cheating.
If she chooses to still not tell the truth, then do what tou gotta do.
That’s what I’d do if it was my sister or I’d tell her and choose to stop seeing her and her partner for the meantime because I wouldn’t like the situation. If she never ever tell him the truth, I’d probably let him know at some point because that’s fucked up.
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