T O P

Feeling so low.

Feeling so low.

Ok_Ad9174

lending money to "friends" is a bad idea... My dad always told me when you lend money to "friends", Give it expecting never to get it back. Cause two things that breaks relationships between guy friends are money and women. I dn know how much of this applies to ur situation, But just a thought.


Then_Celebration2480

Well said, I'll keep that in mind lifelong:)


destined_death

Yes, as they say, money and relationships are like water and oil, never mix, so don't try to bring matters of money within relationships such as, don't lend, take money etc. There Is another saying which says, when u lend to a Friend/relative, only give the amount expecting to never get it back, else it will reach a situation where either u will loose ur money and be sad, or you will fight and get back the money, but will lose that relationship. Yes I know its a bad thing to not return money, but some people, due whatever reasons and circumstances are like that, or have become that unfortunately.


Then_Celebration2480

Well said! Really nice comparison- water and oil! I'm never repeating this mistake again. It made me feel sad and hurt. I don't want this to happen with me again. I'll be careful and remember your words. Thank you so much for your advice! 🌻🌻


destined_death

Your welcome :) Also like others said, this pain and hurt, is an experience, and in my understanding, experiences teach you better than someone telling u, or u reading a book. Like for eg, if u just read online, ur u just heard people say not to blindly lend money to others, it maybe in ur head, but when some cheater comes and acts sad, u may feel bad and lend the money even though u know not to. But if u experienced it before, then u will have better chance next time, because when the cheater comes and acts sad, u won't easily feel bad for him, because your brain will remember the pain u felt last time u got cheated, (our brains are like that, we learn from pain quickly), so u will be able to say, no to the cheater more confidently and easily. But I would like to add one more thing to remind u, just like there are many cheaters, there are also people who really need help. For eg, a cheater may see that people who get cancer get lot of donations, so he will lie and deceive people, telling that he has cancer and will take all that money, so some people may then stop donating to all cancer patients but this is bad, there could be real cancer patients in there, and now when they go for help, nobody helps, because they think they are frauds. So don't let this experience stop u from helping those genuine people in need, u have to figure out of they telling the truth or not on ur own, and I wish u the best.


RationalRabbi

My Dad advised me the same but about any "loan". He also instructed me to always have everything in writing with a tentative return plan and also adding the fact that the loan is interest free, this usually makes it amenable for the borrower to sign as well.


creativ4art

So the first family probably had the right judge on character then. Lesson learned.


Then_Celebration2480

Idk how I'm going to forgive myself for this stupidity.


yakodman

This is not stupidity. Every smart person has trusted or made a judgement that was incorrect and that's part of life. The more you live and make mistakes you gain something called wisdom especially if you are able to move on, pick yourself up and learn from your mistakes. Good luck growing and playing the game of life!


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes. Lesson learned. I'll be definitely more careful and help people who are actually in need than scammers.


alaff

Consider it a blessing that it happened with 1500 and not more. Focus on the positives and learn the lesson this situation teaches. In a year, you’ll barely remember this. There are lots of scammers and bad people. But there are more good people. Don’t lose faith in humanity, just don’t be as gullible next time! Also, in my experience, people who ask for money aren’t reliable. If you want to help someone, help someone who works hard and doesn’t ask for handouts. That person truly deserves the help and will appreciate it. That person will work twice as hard to pay you back.


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you so much for your message. So true about the handouts. They just want everything for free and live without working honestly. Lesson learned. I'll be always careful from now from these bad people.


du_boss

Yalla at least it was not something much bigger. The good thing is you learned from this. Don't feel bad!!


Then_Celebration2480

True. Thank you friend.


Then_Celebration2480

Indeed. I come from a very small island people are usually good there may be because everyone knows everyone over there. I learned my lesson the hard way.


Then_Celebration2480

True. :(


jonathanklit

Consider it a lesson: in all financial matters, have a witness and put the transaction in writing. Between, what's your worldview? The reason I ask this is because it has a profound impact on the way you perceive reality, make sense of it, and react to it. For example, if you believe that there is no hereafter (and consequently, no eternal heaven and hell), then any worldly loss will leave you in a state of incredible depression and despair. And why not? After all, if this is all the life you've got, all 70 -100 years of it, then you must make hay while the sun shine. You must maximize pleasure and minimize pain. But if you believe that this life is transitory, that the true life is yet to come, the outcome of which will be based on the way you lived this life, then worldly losses will lose its meaning. Not that it won't impact you, but it will certainly not destroy your mental well-being. Having said that, here's what you can do with your current situation. 1. Talk to the family that cheater is staying with and let them know about what transpired between the two of you. Maybe they will intervene and help you with recovery of your money? 2. Tell the family you are staying with as well. They might intervene as well? 3. Before doing (1) and (2), inform the cheater about your plans. Maybe that might force him to cough up the money? 4. Threaten to involve police. Obviously, since you have no proof of ever lending him the money, this option will not work. But this is about threatening the cheater, nothing more 5. Offer the person to return the money in easy installments. If he agrees, do not forget to put in writing. Ask him to pay you 100 DHs per month for 15 months. The trick is to get him to sign the paper which will become an automatic admission of the loan. Put a clause that if he defaults any month, he must pay all remaining amount in lump sum. I know you can't wait 15 months but wouldn't you like to recover even 25% of the loan rather than nothing? 6. Do you know of any common friends? Involve them? 7. Do you know where he is currently working (if he did find a job). Just threaten the person that you'll visit his office and talk to his manager about it. That will really frighten him. Between, I was duped several years back as well. I had the contract and everything but the other person refused to return my money. I was absolutely devastated but eventually moved on. I tried all the above on that person but since that person was living in a different country, I couldn't do much other than send messages and emails.


Then_Celebration2480

Hi. Thank you for your message and I am sorry that you had to face a loss as well. It feels terrible. I have no views as such. I believe in doing good and thinking positive and being kind. I spoke to my mother about it. She said it's alright and asked me how was I doing and did I have money to eat and asked me to not think about it. Whatever happened has happened next time don't give it to no one. Feeling bad because she is a single mom and I just paid my university fees as well. It was around 7kAED. My mom said you will have get more negative energy if you engage in the conversation with the cheater so leave it. Since I don't have a proof and the cheater has not found a job yet and still in visit visa i cannot do anything. No friends as this is my 2nd trimester. Online classes it's hard they come and go and everytime it's always a different group of students so I hardly interacted with someone much apart from doing group project. I'll try to ask the cheater once but if he doesn't give me I wil just leave it. I have tears in my eyes writing this but I'll just do right by my mom's side and study hard so that I can atleast make her stay at Burj Al Arab once for a holiday when she visits me.


jonathanklit

It's important that you forget about this and move on at the earliest possible. If you keep your brain thinking about what you could have done, or shouldn't have done, it will kill you mentally. Besides, your studies will suffer which is the last thing you want. And do take care of your mother. Don't wait for the Burj stay. The little things you can do now are more important than one time big thing. For example, call her everyday, smile when you talk to her, tell her that you love her and miss her, ask her about her day, and keep her engaged. Share your pictures with her frequently. Ask for hers. There is no better relationship than a mother and son relationship. Make her feel special.


Then_Celebration2480

Indeed. Thank you so much for giving me positive vibes and letting me move further. I did not have anyone to say this so just posted it. Never thought I would get so many nice and positive response. Once again thank you much!


Sinimaster

Oh. I hate people who do like that. Biting the hand that helps. Don't worry OP, your money is going nowhere, it will come back to you in some other way.


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you for your kind words. Been stressful dealing with situation like this. I mean if I ask money from someone I can't sleep peacefully until I return it to them. Guess that's not the case for everyone:(


Dessertqueen09

Hey OP, my friend was in a similar situation, except he ended up losing 5k. Believe me, that money will come back into your hands in some way or another. Maybe not soon, but it will


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you, for your message. I'm sorry about your friends loss.Just couldn't concentrate on my studies today. Feeling so bad. I hope to forget it soon and take the lesson learnt from it life long.


BBgD2metal

If I were you I would probably feel like an idiot for maybe a week. Then I'd start plotting my revenge. If he's a asshole with no job, make sure you put him in a position where he has to leave Dubai for good. This obviously won't get you your money back but there's just something about giving karma a little nudge sometimes.


Then_Celebration2480

Let it go. ! Learned my lesson..will keep it for life. Sometimes even I get the rage but it ain't good. I have come here to study and do well in life ahead. These small setbacks won't let me down. I do feel terrible about myself but yes if I indulge more it may cost me. Like anxiety, negative energy etc. I don't want that. Already what has happened with me is sad and I am in a new country with no family or friends. I'll bite it. Thank you for your message though. Made me smile..:)


kaikemy

This mindset will take you to heights. Really impressive to see your level of thinking


Gatalicious

Did you lend him cash or do a bank transfer? If you did a bank transfer, then there is some record of it, but if cash, nothing really can be done. Is there any record of it? Is there any written proof where he asked you for money and you agreed to lend it to him? Something as simple as a WhatsApp chat can be evidence of this. Other than that, if nothing can be done, think of it as 1500 AED spent in a temple or church or something or given to a charity and refuse to let it get you down. You did a kind thing by helping someone in need and if nothing else, don't lose sight of that. Think of this as a hard lesson learnt, OP. You have to be more discerning in the future, particularly when it comes to money.


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you for making me feel okay and not letting me loose my good faith. Sadly no details. I don't have a bank account here. I have my homeland currency and had exchanged. No proof as he was very clever to call me outside and ask me for help showing fake tears. True. I'll it go. But sometimes these things gets so hurting. And yes I wil be more careful in the future.


Gatalicious

I'm glad you're looking at it positively. The truth of the matter is without some kind of written proof or documentation of the loan, it is very, very difficult to enforce. This guy played you well to swindle you. If it helps, I have seen cases in Dubai where people have lent 180k, 250k and 500k+ to friends/ family, etc. with NO documentation and NO proof and then received nothing in return. This is not at all uncommon and people continue to be swindled. As a student without a job, I know 1500 AED is a lot of money, but in the grand scheme of things, if that's what it takes to learn a lesson, then consider it an investment in your own growth. If I was you though, I would start telling everyone in my building what this guy did and make sure they all knew not to fall for his fake tears/ lies, so at least nobody else in your building will fall for his BS in the future. But that's up to you.


Then_Celebration2480

This is so so bad. I can't even think about doing something like this if I ever asked for a loan or money to someone. Idk how they sleep at night. Damn yes. To family my mom has also given a lot but all she got was criticism later on. Like she helps her sisters daughter to get into college paid her fees and constructed a house for my grandmother but she was never appreciated. People can be so so so mean. Yes. I already informed the guard of the building.. he said he owes him as well for the water gallons around 50dhs wouldn't give him more unless he paid.


SanJunipero1

> If I was you though, I would start telling everyone in my building what this guy did and make sure they all knew not to fall for his fake tears/ lies, so at least nobody else in your building will fall for his BS in the future. But that’s up to you. OP this is a fabulous tactic. Everyone you meet, tell them how this guy swindled you of the money. It’s a small world, it will make its way around. If you get hold of this scammer make it clear that you will approach his boss if he ever gets a job and he can kiss his work visa goodbye.


Akandoji

Unfortunately this kind of blackmail is the only thing that works with scum like that. And let's be honest, it isn't even blackmail per se - it's the bare truth.


Then_Celebration2480

Yes! Will do it.


Gatalicious

And remember, make sure you NEVER text anyone about what happened to you and how this guy swindled you. Tell them in person and leave no record about it. When he eventually finds out what you've been telling people (the truth!), he might try to threaten you in some way. (Especially considering what you said about the guard whom he also seems to owe money. It seems this guy has a tendency to use begging and pleading to get money.) IF he ever threatens you for spreading 'stories' about him, you throw his words back at him: "Where is your proof?" Small comfort for lost money, but it will feel brilliant if it ever comes to pass.


Then_Celebration2480

True! Hahahah.


TheNarrowPathway

Tbh you are a very nice person to be able trust some with 1500. I don't think I could ever borrow anyone more than 500 aed in Dubai. On a good day


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you for your kind words. Lesson learned the hard way! :(


s00cl0se

Check with your university. They are affiliated with banks and will help you open a bank account. Unless you are an exchange student.


Then_Celebration2480

Sure! I have mailed them..:) thank you


[deleted]

Such people won't do well in life man. And just think that you got lucky that it was AED 1500 and not more.


Then_Celebration2480

True. Let it go.....


Charming_Reserve_174

I m so sorry for you such ungrateful man. Don’t worry karma will take care of him. He will never prosper. But you good deed will never go in vain. U will be blessed 😇. Just wait have patience and let go.


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you so much for your kind words.


pakrab12

Its normal bro...u learnt your lesson at such an early age...siblings take money and never give back and backstab you..friends are far away from even a discussion


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you for your message. So true ......


santz007

Almost everyone goes through this phase at somepoint in thir lives. Some have lost hundreds of thousands and others have lost millions in the name of friendship and trust. If 1500 is all it took to become wiser, understanding whom not to trust and hopefully a better judge of character, then that was dhs 1500 well spent. Cheer up


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you so much! :)


Sluzhbenik

1500 AED, the cost of an education.


Then_Celebration2480

Indeed.. life lessons


m_emelchenkov

adult life has begun, kid


Then_Celebration2480

And has really hit hard


tallalittlebit

I'm really sorry this happened. Don't beat yourself up for this. You're a good person and you did a decent thing. Next time you will know better and get a written record. I've made the mistake of trusting the wrong person before and lost money from it. It can happen. The important thing is you learn from it and forgive yourself.


Then_Celebration2480

True. Thank you so much. I hate this feeling tbh. I'll get over it


ShakeForward

This has happened to me multiple times. Anger and anguish stems from the things and situations in life that we are not able to control. I’ve realized that rather than blaming someone else and losing control for something that has happened we should regain control by look at our role in it and forgive ourselves. When I lend money that doesn’t come back I tell myself, look dude you gave it to him. You trusted him. It’s your wrong doing. So forgive yourself now and move on. 1500 DH ain’t gonna make him rich, ain’t gonna make you poor. Thank your stars that it was 1500 not 1.5 million. So it’s a lesson learned, be kind but with open eyes. Trust me, there’s no single person in this world who hasn’t done such mistakes. So forgive yourself and forget. Leave him to his karma, god or lenders. One day one of them will be kind enough to teach them a good lesson. 😊


Then_Celebration2480

I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for your kind words. I'll just let it go. This has never happened to be before. The feeling is terrible. But I am so happy that I'm getting so many messages from good people around the world who know how I feel. "Be kind with eyes" so TRUE.


fkleagueoflesgends

You so kind you just trusted the wrong person


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you! As the other comment said. Be kind with open eyes. I'll follow that. Thank you so much for your message.


FakeRedHead10

I am so sorry this happened to you! But trust that as fate works, your money will return to you in some other way, since your intention was pure at heart.


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you so much for your kinds words! I feel so much better!.. God bless you.


FakeRedHead10

Ofcourse! All the best with your studies in DXB. Hope all the good karma comes your way!


Then_Celebration2480

🌻🌟🌻. Thank you. Really appreciate it. I was so alone and feeling low. All your messages and love does remind me to be humble and greatful to the universe. Thank you so much for your wishes! :)


Whtzmyname

Never help with people with money. Never. People cannot be trusted. Sorry you had to learn this hard life lesson. I hope things get better for you. Focus on your studies and remember this life lesson. You are still very young so dont be so hard on yourself for having a kind heart.


destined_death

You seem to have some bad experiences, would u mind sharing it?


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you so much. Yes. Totally.. I'll never trust again. I had to learn it a very hard way. Feeling very bad.. couldn't even study today for long. I hope to get back on the track my evening..Nerve imagined such things can disturb you so much mentally.


danmendonza

Don't worry OP, his punishment will come in some way. You've learned a lesson now. It's not something you could have seen coming, so don't feel too bad. Last year when I was put on unpaid leave, my friend offered me a job in his company, I worked for nearly 3 months and he hasn't paid me (aed 8k). Doesn't answer the phone at all. This is someone I've know for 15 years, so it was all based on trust. People can be shitty and backstab anytime.


Then_Celebration2480

Oh god. That's so so bad. I'm so sorry to hear about it. That's true not everyone is like us. We can never even imagine of doing something like this. I got my lesson a very hard way. And thank you so much for sharing your story.


dxbdoc

Dear OP , Last January I wired 10k to a former school junior who wanted the money for his “mother’s ailment”. He kept asking over and over. It was then I realised It was a rouse. This happened inspite of me being “a highly educated professional”. 😅 It didn’t bother me , because my intentions were good. I was short of money , but I managed. I’ve had food on my table , a warm bed to sleep , a roof over my head and my loved ones are doing well. And I’m only grateful. A few months ago I found myself almost broke , but out of no where I was credited a healthy amount of funds from some overdue transaction. It saved me. What goes around comes around , and that has been my experience throughout life. Touch a penny that is Ill gotten and rest assured there is a price to pay for it. You had good intentions , so you will be looked after , not necessarily the same person or situation. But it will happen. Do not despair. As a child I remember my mother feeding children whose parents were far away/orphans , in our house. She used to joke&say “ This is so that in future someone looks after my son when I’m not around”. Fast forward 20 years , I landed in a foreign country for work. I was sad miserable homesick and broke. One fine evening I overheard a passerby speaking my tongue on the phone. I stopped her after , and had a light hearted chat. Relieved to be able to speak my language again. A few minutes later as I sat in my shared home room miserable , there was a knock on my door , and it was this lady inviting me over to her house for a traditional meal with her big family. I felt so welcomed and loved. And it was then I also remembered my mother. The good she did came around to look after her own son. Trust in the process. May good things happen to you.


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you so much for your message and sharing me your experience. I was feeling really low and bad about myself.. giving away my mom's hard earned money. Your're story made me smile and definitely has an impact on me! I'll remember your words. It's hard to be positive when something like this occurs but in the long run it definitely teaches us and makes us believe in good deeds and pure thoughts and intention. You are a warrior!


dxbdoc

I’m glad to be of some help OP. Just to add. Please do not give away money like this OP. We all live and learn. I’ve learnt my lesson , now your turn. 😊


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you doc!☺️. Thank you so much. 🌻🌟🌻.


waste2muchtime

Sorry to hear about the liar. Don't let it get to you. He's a thief, and God will give you your right in full.


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you so much for reaching me out in such a hard time. I was so so lost. Lesson learned.


Zachwank

I’d say you did your part you helped a person who you thought was in need so not exactly stupid.


Then_Celebration2480

:) But learnt a life lesson!


TherapyThrowawayC

You live and learn. He taught you what university will not teach you in 4 years


Then_Celebration2480

True. :) Lost my one month allowance. Hit a bit hard but I'll survive. Thank you so much for your positive message.


Dubainewbie

We have all been there. I lost 2000 AED to an ex-coworker in one of my first jobs here. I will never forget the stupid feeling seeing him “check in” on FB to all the fancy restaurants in Madinat Jumeirah. Never saw the money again - all time low was when he claimed he got mugged in AD and lost his wallet. It has since then become a tough principle of mine: Yes, I am Western, but I am not your ATM!


Then_Celebration2480

Damn! They have no empathy.. I am so sorry for your loss. Yes they love making excuses. I learnt my lesson the hard way. Will carry it life long. Your last line is epic! 😅. Well described.


Dubainewbie

I lost my job shortly after all this happened, and at that point, 2000 AED was really a lot of money for me. Well, it still is, but I am just trying to say I totally understand what 1500 AED means, especially as a student. I know the “Western” part is a bit harsh to mention, but this guy didn’t get any money from his fellow countrymen where we worked. In my country, my friends or coworkers never ask for money, but it is a different kind of society as well, so I felt sorry for him and thought I would get it back. Big lesson learnt. I know it’s a bit tough, but some people here are just selfish, and you have to protect yourself. As someone else wrote here, never lend more than you can afford to write off as “charity”, because chances are slim you will ever see your money again. Try not to let it get to you, trust me, this (sadly) happens so often here.


Then_Celebration2480

So sorry to hear that. It's bad how people take advantage of someone's good nature just to betray them and fulfill their own needs. I never thought I would experience something like this in Dubai. We find it hard to say no when someone asks for help but that's the only option here. Lesson learned. As the previous advice says don't give free handouts to the ungrateful. I'm so sorry you hard to go through this 😞. I'll remember your advice. Life will definitely take another test and I am sure all the guidance , precautions, and advices given to me will click in. Thank you so much for writing it and making me aware of things around. Stay blessed 🌻🌻


Old-Organization-646

One lesson my dad taught me is to not to lend a single penny to anyone in this country.


Then_Celebration2480

Wish I knew this before! Thank you for sharing..i'll remember it.


Eugene_With_Axe

You give a big amount of money to a guy you knew for a month. Well, I guess this is going to be a lesson you will never forget.


Then_Celebration2480

Never again! Thank you for your message. I have bad habit of trusting people but this incident has given me an insight of how people can be so mean once their objective is over.


honpra

It took me 10 times the amount to learn my lesson. Don't worry about it. You'll emerge stronger from this.


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you so much for your message. I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Yes definitely stronger and more conscious about people after this incident.


BLAZE_AXIA

I dont think there is such a thing as "lending" friends money. A lot of things could change. They might not be the same person anymore. The side of them that likes you might hide the ugly side of them that comes out when they have to return the money. Only give away how much you're willing to throw away.


Then_Celebration2480

True. The ugly side is pretty wild I can never imagine how people change all of a sudden when it comes to paying back what they owe. Thank you for your advice..I'll keep it in mind. Learned the hard way. Thank you for your support..


crimson_comet28

This is so sad to hear. I actually really do get scared about this everytime any of my friends ask me to lend them some money. Cuz even though they are my friends I still hesitate if they would jump on me and it would ruin our relationship


Then_Celebration2480

So true!


Rotatytr

2 things why people become your friends here: job and money. .


Then_Celebration2480

So true! I learnt it the hard way! Thank you so much for reaching out to me . I'll remember your words always,! Stay blessed.


Dangerous-Pizza-1496

Lol. Its common. In a year or two you would often receive a messagw that reads 'salam, how are you brother Next Brother, i have to ask you for something Next Bro, can u give me 1000 aed because i need it for [put anything]. Promise I will give you next month. And that next month never comes. No one, i mean no one here bother to talk or smile back at you if its not about money. Lol. People whom i had been with for years never even asked about my wellbeing but when it was about money they didnt hesitate to ask for money and started with messages like I have mentioned above. 2,3 times I have been scammed mostly by Pakistani. Don't give away a buck even. Buy food if you can and keep the bill with you.


Then_Celebration2480

So true. And thank you for making me aware of these I'll be prepared next time. !


RockProfessional5075

How are you feeling bro ?


moondustlips6

Well, u r an idiot but u don't have to continue to be one.


Then_Celebration2480

True! 🥺. And yes. Will change myself!


thenetworkking

Always give 1/3rd of what people ask.. Negotiate on how much you can help. Also this guy was very new in your life so I'm not sure how much friendship you both had built upp. Anyway fuck him.


Then_Celebration2480

Never lending any money hereafter. Felt bad for him and I imagined what If I was in his situation so I gave him the money never knew people can be so cruel.


sweatcold

Mouth can lie, eye cannot. People will forget, karma will not.


Then_Celebration2480

Well said .


Force_Of_WiII

> He was crying the other day since he had come here to get a job and he couldn't find one. Should have found a job *before* moving here. Also never give money to someone here. Without proof/a contract you have zero legal standing.


Then_Celebration2480

True. It's astonishing that they are so confident that they will find a job on a visit visa during such a hard time.


umagrandepilinha

The guy is a piece of shit for doing this, but to be honest have you ever tried finding a job in Dubai while being abroad. There’s no chance of getting a job. No chance. The only way is working at a company that has a branch in Dubai and changing branches, or go to Dubai and search for a job while you’re there.


Force_Of_WiII

> but to be honest have you ever tried finding a job in Dubai while being abroad. There’s no chance of getting a job. No chance. Yes, I have. > The only way is working at a company that has a branch in Dubai and changing branches Well I work in Abu Dhabi, but I didn't transfer from within the company abroad to here.


umagrandepilinha

> Yes, I have. Have you tried in the last year? Because any reality before pandemic is no longer applicable job wise, both in terms of opportunities and salaries. So maybe you managed to get one but that was not common back then and it’s even more improbable now. Whether it’s Dubai or Abu Dhabi. Trust me, I’ve tried.


Force_Of_WiII

> Have you tried in the last year? Well I've lived here for years, so take a guess. > Because any reality before pandemic is no longer applicable job wise, both in terms of opportunities and salaries. And? If there aren't opportunities here then you shouldn't move here before having an employment offer. People are putting themselves in bad situations and have no one to blame but themselves.


umagrandepilinha

You’re trying hard to NOT understand. There are jobs, although not as many and they don’t pay as much. If you’re there in person it shouldn’t be that difficult to get a job. But getting one remotely has become impossible.


Force_Of_WiII

> But getting one remotely has become impossible. Then don't move here...


umagrandepilinha

I will if I want to and I’m free to do so. Don’t tell me what to do, mind your business.


[deleted]

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MilleniumRetard

Hey don’t be fazed by the acts of people around you especially that opportunistic twat. You’ve done a very noble thing by helping him. Now he bit your hands after. This is common. You’ll will be meeting more of their kind so this is a very valuable lesson for you to take your trust level into a higher standard. It’s ok, we don’t learn if we don’t commit mistakes. Even with your most trusted and closed friends, involving money in your relationship will either make or break you. People change when money talks. In case you really really need to lend someone money, you must only give what you can afford to lose. Put it in your mind that you have 99% chance of not getting that money back and you accept it without regrets. When you reach to this level, you’ll have complete peace of mind and you’d be surprised how you will be able to see who among them are true to you. Remember, money can be earned easily but not respect. That guy’s personality might dupe people with small rewards but trust me life won’t be easy for him in the long run as that shitty personality will eat him/her up like a cancer.


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Then_Celebration2480

Hi. Thank you for posting the article. It's a small amount considering Dubai and I would pay a lot more in legal fees. I will be kind with open eyes next time..won't fall for it..


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Then_Celebration2480

Totally!


sam6600

Dont feel sad your money will come to you in other way.That person will realise one day and come for you


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you! Tbh I don't even wanna look at him. I must be more than 10 years younger to him. Felt bad about his situation and I gave him the money. The thing which was more hurting was that he told me I never gave him any money and asked me for a proof. I helped in every way I could. Neither I had that mind to get something in writing or on a WhatsApp chat as it was a physical transaction. Never asked him until the date came and when it finally arrived I get this response. It was so shocking.


mugu007

Expensive lesson that had to be learnt. Everyone has that moment in life when they realise they are too trusting, and you have just experienced that moment. Take this as an opportunity to look back at all the times you were taken advantage of, and learn to never be so trusting of a stranger.


Then_Celebration2480

So true. People do take advantage of the kindness for weakness. This is so wrong but I guess that's how it works. I can't describe how feel but I'll live and take this lesson life long. ! Thank you so much for your message. :)


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Then_Celebration2480

Oh 😳. That's too much. You helped me in his hard time and the way he is now this is so so unfair. I'm sorry for your loss you had good intentions. Not only you helped him but is family as well this is so so wrong to abandon someone who helped. I don't know much about karma but they say it hits back to people who do wrong. Our good deeds are surely accounted for. I'm so so sorry to hear about this.! My mom says if we do good things it comes back to us. I'm sure you will be more successful in all the aspect of life! Once again I am so sorry to hear about your incident. Would have taken a long time to heal from a betrayal like this.


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Then_Celebration2480

That's so strong. It's really brave how you managed every odds and came back stronger. As they say "No war can be won in depression" you have really justified this title. Thank you so much for sharing and sorry if I reminded you of the past. I'm definitely taking something from here today.


fuxxo

LPT: if lending money, consider its gone. Even to friends or family members. Lend/borrow only what u can afford to loose. Learned the hard way. Wayyyy more than 1.5k


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you for your message. I am sorry to hear about you facing the similar situation as well.. Thank your for your advice I will keep that in mind.


fuxxo

Thanks. Was long time ago, so im over it. But really not gonna sugar coat your situation. Write it off as loss and an expensive lesson. You can try to contact police and everything will just drag on with high chance you will just loose your time and patience


Then_Celebration2480

True..tbh I don't even wanna look at that guy anymore. If he would have asked me for more time I would have understood but simply denying that I never gave him any money made me feel really hurting. I had given him cash so no bank transfer or any message and I was polite enough to not remind him or ask him on what's app or anything since he said he would pay me on August. As you said I'll write it off as loss.


FilthyFioraMain

“If you lend someone $20 and never hear from them again, it was a good investment”


Then_Celebration2480

Hahah. Bronx tale!


safer_than_ever

I feel your pain OP. Last January I took a postpaid plan from Du from one of the kiosks on the streets. After few nights the representative who registered my plan called me and was begging to lend him 500 aed for his son's operation back home. I don't know what I was thinking that time but I felt sorry for him and he assured me that he was a supervisor within his team so it's guaranteed he can return the money in a month. It's July and he hasn't given a fil back.


Then_Celebration2480

Hi..Thank you so much for your message. This is horrible. They ask for money showing us sympathy towards them and we feel it's genuine and give the capital to them in good faith. This is so harsh. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I understand you pain. 2 advice I learnt today. 1) When you lend forget about getting it back 2) Be kind with your eyes open I'm sorry for your loss. But you did it with good intentions. It will come back to you in someway! Don't be discouraged and don't lend anyone. If you do remember point no.1 if you get back your are lucky.


JabardastInsaan

A (well employed) friend of mine had loaned around 5k aed to one guy. I had asked him what will happen if the other guy doesn't return the money, and refuses to acknowledge the loan. His reply was he really trusted the guy. And if a guy he has learnt to trust does such a thing, 5K is worth the lesson of taking a step back and reevaluating the factors he uses to trust people. Don't give up on the loan, keep asking him. But also try to learn how to avoid such things in future.


Then_Celebration2480

Yes. I'm totally naive in this matter. I trusted a guy who I knew just for 2 months. Shouldn't have done it. Past is past nothing can be done now. I don't feel like talking to him. If he said I need more time I would have understood. But denying that I never gave him money hurts me more. But I really learnt my lesson. I hope to never fall or repeat it again.


Bob-the-cat21

Here is a good lesson not just for you, but for every one out there " when money comes in the front door, love, trust jumps of the window" Never, trust anyone, trust is a bad commodity those days. Make sure anyone including your relatives when they borrow money, to have some legal proof, not becasue you don't trust them, but just incase God forbid something happens to them, at this moment you have something legal to claim your money. Otherwise, lending is very very bad idea especially in UAE and between expats.. It's about survival... I don't want to sound cruel, but I tell the truth as it is.


Then_Celebration2480

Indeed.. I'll keep this in my mind. At this point the way this guy behaved with me when and openly denied that I never gave him money was so cruel. I even bought and shared food with him. He wouldn't have done it even if he saw me starving. I learnt my lesson the hard way. The feeling is terrible and makes you feel so low. I have never experienced such thing in my life. I hope this feeling fades away and the lesson stays with me forever.


Bob-the-cat21

Don't feel bad, things happen and will to the best of us. The important part, you need to learn and rest assure, life will test you again, so be ready. Focus on whats ahead and learn from what you left behind. But, don't dwell on it too much.. Let it go...


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you so much. 🌻🌟🌻. I'm scared if this situation arises again as a test but atleast I will be prepared this time. Yes. I might take a nap and get back on track. I don't want to feel like this ever again. Thank you so much. Your words mean a lot to me. God bless you.


jsz33

Hey OP, I understand you’re in a tough place right now but just as the others have said - it’s a lesson learned the hard way and the money will come back to you one way or another. I faced the same situation with 2 of my closest friends (got fooled twice) - one duped me out of AED 1000 and another one out of AED 2500. Ended up spoiling my friendship with both of them. I eventually got the money back (gods grace) in different forms (a larger than expected bonus, a higher than market price on selling my old car, etc.) Since then I have never lent money to anyone and have been very tight with my hand, no matter who asks. Look on the bright side and get out of the walls of negativity - you can do it! (:


Then_Celebration2480

Thank you so much for your message. This is so bad. You had good intentions and they took the advantage of it. People care less about friendship and kindness these days. I wonder how can they even sleep by taking someone's else money and not repaying it. I'm happy to hear that you got your money back in different forms. it's so nice .. I'm still in shock. I hope to recover from this negative. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and supporting me. I'll remember it. :)


Walterach

A lesson to not borrow your money to ANYONE has cost you 1500 aed. My lesson costed me 6000 aed. Consider yourself lucky and move one.


Then_Celebration2480

So sorry to hear that. People have no empathy.... Kinda of hard for me to move on right now. Might take some hours more. I just want this to be bad dream...can't believe it still in shock.