By - Raft_Master01
Short story for this, if I may: Guy with the cap, who I’ll Ollie, was raised with the classic “being gay means you’re a sissy, and that’s bad” kinda nonsense, so when he went to college for computer engineering, he had the homophobia drilled into his brain harder than a wrestler giving someone else the People’s Elbow. Ollie felt he had to keep up the masculine standard, both for his own ego but also because he thought it was what he was meant to be. But deep inside, Ollie wasn’t really comfortable with his sexuality. He never had a girlfriend, but just passed it off as “I’m looking for the right woman”, when in reality, he couldn’t find a woman he was attracted to.
Gil was raised by his older sister and her girlfriend, since his ‘parents’ weren’t able to actually raise them properly, so his sister got custody of him. Gil fought tooth and nail for scholarships, and he got a couple. He came out when he was very young, so he was pretty comfortable with his sexuality. He had a couple boyfriends in the past, still experimenting, while striving with his wrestling scholarship. But he was more interested in learning, having more balanced education on top of his wrestling career, so he could write on the side. Less for work, more for fun.
Ollie and Gil were at a party. It was Spring Break, the two arrived separately. It was a small party, with two main groups making up a majority of the crowd. When the host announced “HEY, WHO WANTS TO PLAY SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN”, Ollie and Gil decided to do it, at the urging of their friends. When they got into the circle, and Gil saw Ollie there, he cringed.
Ollie wasn’t the most disruptive student, but he wasn’t very likable. He heard him make some homophobic remarks, he was generally loud, Ollie wasn’t a person Gil liked. So when the bottle landed on Gil, then on Ollie, Gil’s stomach sank. Good thing he had a knife on him.
Ollie’s heart threatened to pound out of his chest, and he felt queasy. Gil was a guy that Ollie always had… a weird feeling about. The feeling of “what would his hands feel like, what would his lips feel like, what does he do”. It made Ollie defensive, and scared. So as the two were ushered into a closet, barely big enough for the two, Ollie pressed himself against the wall, away from Gil.
For what felt like forever, the two just eyed one another. Ollie was nervous, and Gil was frustrated, hand on his switchblade just in case. The two weren’t sure what to say. What could you say?
Gil tried to adjust, and went to tie his jacket around his waist. He was wearing a thin shirt, black and with a small tear in his collar. Ollie kept looking away, shoulders hunched. Ollie tried to speak, and attempted to joke.
“Is it hot in here?” He said. Gil eyed him, and replied begrudgingly.
“Yes, and it’s not just you.” Gil said. Ollie flushed.
“Sorry, I’m attempting to break tension-“ Ollie started, but Gil cut him off.
“I’m not really interested in talking to you. I’m surprised you’re talking to me.” Gil said. Cold, and sure. Ollie gulped.
“Why? Did I do something wrong?” Ollie asked. And Gil looked at him with a look that said “how bloody dense can you be”.
“Last I checked, you weren’t really interested in talking to gay people.” Gil said, brow furrowed with frustration. It wasn’t like he was hiding it, Gil had a rainbow lanyard, with a gay pride button. He wore his pride on his sleeve.
Ollie flushed, and stammered. “I-I’m not, who’s been talking? That’s just bullshit, I’ve only been with girls!”
Gil wanted to get more angry, to talk back, but Gil caught on. Why was Ollie getting so defensive?
Now he had some ammo.
“No one’s been saying anything, mate.” Gil said, a smirk spreading on his lips. “I do think thou protest too much, Oliver.” He teased.
Gil wasn’t doing it to attempt any gay chicken; he wanted to get a rise out of him, since Ollie seemed SO sensitive about talking about gay stuff. He wanted Ollie to leave red faced, defensive and defeated.
But what he didn’t expect was for Ollie to have tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.
Ollie wasn’t sure how to react. If Gil, someone he barely knew, was able to pick up that fear, that doubt, those forbidden thoughts, then what did Ollie’s friends know? His peers? No, he couldn’t, it wasn’t right, it wasn’t…
Ollie sniffled. “How did you know?” He asked, nearly a whimper. “What gave it away?”
Gil gave him a look. “Gave what away? What the hell are you talking about?”
“You know what I’m talking about!” Ollie snapped, then he tapered. “The fuckin’…” He sighed, wiping at his eyes. “How I’ve been looking at you. How I’ve been scared to talk to you.” Ollie said through tears.
Gil was speechless. He shook his head. “No. You’re pulling my leg.” Gil said. “What, this some kind of prank? Are Kevin (the host) and Pines involved-“
“No.” Ollie said through tears.
The others forgot Ollie and Gil were in there, they had gotten into a round of drunken Spin the Bottle. The two were able to have their discussion (if you could call it that) in peace.
Gil looked at Ollie incredulously. “There’s no way you had a… thing for me.” He said. “I’ve heard the shit you spew-“
“It’s what I was taught, alright?!” Ollie declared. “I know it’s… hypocritical. I just… I felt so conflicted, like what I was feeling was… wrong. It felt wrong, I couldn’t have anything for a man, I couldn’t-“ He clenched his fists and tears kept streaming.
Gil was speechless once again. He was staring as Ollie attempted to clean away his tears.
Ollie lashing out. Gil had seen cases of internalized homophobia before, but never this blatant, so literal, and he hadn’t seen a case that created such internal strife in a hot minute. Suddenly, his behaviors made a lot more sense.
A defensive front, a strong and stereotypical straight man, a man’s man, but deep inside he was conflicted, and scared of his own feelings.
Gil reached to place a hand on Ollie’s shoulder. Ollie paused, sniffling as he looked to Gil.
“Oliver, it’s ok. Deep breaths.” Gil soothed. “It’s ok.”
Ollie hiccuped, leaning against the wall. “No, it’s not! I just… I can’t stop thinking about it when I look at you.” He said. Words kept pouring out like a waterfall.
“I keep thinking about… hugging you, kissing you, wanting to… I can’t stop thinking about it.” Ollie said. “And… I dunno!! I’ve always been told it’s wrong, and now it’s just… it’s too much.” He teared up again, but was caught off guard by Gil pulling him into a hug.
“It’s ok, Oliver. I’ve met people who were in similar situations. Raised with homophobic views, so when they begin to feel things for the same gender, they feel… confused. Conflicted, like they’re wrong.” Gil said softly. “You’re not wrong. You weren’t born wrong, for feeling the way you feel.”
Ollie paused. Tears rolled down his cheeks. Then he hugged Gil back, sniffling.
“Let it out, Ollie. Let it out. It’s ok.” Gil soothed. “It’s ok.”
When they got out of the closet, Ollie had cleared his tears, and calmed down.
The two went their separate ways, at this party. Ollie played off what happened, and said the two were just arguing about a recent sports team failing. Gil was honest with his friends, and they all agreed; Ollie needed to think about what happened.
They wouldn’t know what Ollie was thinking, until the next party.
The next party was after finals, a celebration at a friend’s house. There were drinks, food, even a trampoline in the backyard. Gil was with his friends, Ollie was at the party alone. His friends were at a nearby pub, and Ollie wasn’t a huge fan of pubs.
Gil was grabbing a pop from the drink table, when he felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned to see a bashful Ollie.
“Hey, dude.” Ollie said. “Can I talk to you? Like, in private?” Gil nodded, cocking his head.
As the two walked to find someplace private to talk, Gil could hear his friend whooping, and wishing Gil luck with “his meetcute”. What does that even mean??
The two ended in one of the guest rooms. The host said “don’t steal, don’t trash the place, clean up after yourselves, and you can hang out in one of the guest rooms”, so it was cool.
Gil looked to Ollie with a smirk. “What’s up, mate? It’s been a minute.” He said, and Ollie blushed.
He was wearing a tank top and super short basketball shorts, so Gil could see Ollie blush from his ears to his shoulders. Ollie sighed, and approached Gil carefully.
“I know. I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking, and… well, thinking. I’ve been talking with Polly, and I’ve been seeing a therapist.” Polly was like a den mother on campus, she was protective and determined. She was a well known LGBTQ+ advocate, and often was approached by LGBTQ+ folks who wanted advice, or needed help with problems of that matter, so it makes sense that he’d go to her.
Gil smiled. “I’m glad, how are you feeling?” He genuinely was glad.
Ollie smiled back. “I’m doing a lot better, and… I think I’m gay. I’ve thought about it for a while, and I think that’s how I orient.” He played with the hem of his shirt nervously.
Gil nodded. “That’s good, I’m glad you were able to figure yourself out a bit! So, why did you want to talk to me in private about this?” Oliver approached more, and put a hand on Gil’s shoulder.
“Well, for two reasons.” Ollie said. “One, you kinda drove me to start trying to find myself, and be serious about how I really feel, so I wanted to thank you.” Ollie shrugged. That was the easy part… now for the hard part.
Ollie sighed, looking away and adjusting his cap. “And second… I asked around, and I heard you were single, but I wanted to ask you personally. And your answer would affect if I ask my third question.”
Gil chuckled. “Yeah, I’m single. I just haven’t really found someone, and class has kept me busy.” He looked at Ollie with a sly smile. “So what’s your third question, if I may ask?”
Ollie swallowed, and finally looked Gil in the eye. “Is it ok if I kiss you?”
Gil flushed, and nodded. “But only if you want to.”
The two sat on the bed, and Gil took Ollie’s hand in his. “We can go slow. We don’t need to do anything, only if you want to.” Ollie nodded.
“I just… wanna try kissing you. Only if you want to.” Ollie said, blushing. Gil nodded, and stroked Ollie’s cheek.
“That sounds good to me.” Gil said, moving closer to him. “Do you want me to initiate, or do you want to?” Gil asked. The two were speaking in a whisper at this point, barely a few inches from each other.
Ollie swallowed. “C-can you, please?” He said, softly. Gil nodded, smiling understandingly.
It was gentle, chaste and quick. The two pulled away. Gil was blushing, but smiling softly. Ollie looked at Gil with wide eyes, his entire face was flushed. It was like his world expanded to three times its size.
“You ok?” Gil asked. Ollie nodded, then whispered.
“C-can you do it again?” He asked, and Gil nodded.
It was slow, and gentle. They didn’t escalate to anything super physical in that moment, but they explored one another carefully. Gil took note of everything; when Ollie whimpered as Gil nipped at his bottom lip, when he gripped Gil’s shirt, like he was desperate to hold on and not let go.
Gil gasped softly as Ollie carded through his hair, like he always wanted to touch it but never got the chance. He whined as Ollie gripped his shirt, holding Gil close. Ollie wasn’t fighting for control, he was attempting to reciprocate, and Gil had his breath swept away. What Ollie lacked in experience, he made up for with vigor, passion, and… he couldn’t put his finger on it. Whatever it was, it made Gil want to keep kissing Ollie, and never stop.
The two got swept up in one another, and when they pulled away and took note of their surroundings, Ollie was sitting in Gil’s lap, cap knocked off. It was kind of humorous, since Ollie was quite larger than Gil, built like a line-backer. Gil was smaller, slim but sturdy.
But Gil didn’t care about that. He cared about how Ollie was looking at him, and how Ollie was disheveled; his lips were red and wet from kissing, his cheeks flushed, and he was looking at Gil like he hung the stars and moon themselves.
There was no party. There was no universe outside. It was just them, in their imperfect perfections.
As Gil ran his hands over Ollie’s waist and hips, Ollie gasped softly, pressing his hand to his mouth.
“Has anyone ever told you how pretty you were?” Gil asked softly. Ollie looked to Gil with hazy eyes, glazed over by need and desire. Desire for contact, desire for feeling, sensations. Gil began to run his hands over Ollie’s body, as he explained.
“You have stunning eyes.” A thumb ran over Ollie’s cheekbone, under his eye. “Eyes that shine, like a hearth.”
“You have a cute nose,” He booped Ollie’s nose, which made Ollie giggle a bit. “And a jawline that could cut glass.” A hand ran over Ollie’s jaw, the flustered fellow leaning into Gil’s touch.
“You have… a quite distracting mouth.” Gil ran a thumb over Ollie’s bottom lip. “You can talk for hours, and I can’t decide whether to keep asking you questions about engineering or computing, just to hear you talk, or kiss you, shutting you up except your moans, and whines, and pleading.”
Ollie took Gil’s hand in his, and kissed his palm. Gil smiled, his heart racing. But then it began to pound as Ollie took two of Gil’s fingers into his mouth, licking and sucking on them.
When Ollie let go of Gil’s hand, Gil was blushing from the top of his head all the way down to his toes. His brain was failing to compute as Ollie sighed, leaning to put his hands on the bed.
He leaned to whisper in Gil’s ear. “Is it ok if we lay down? So we don’t have to hurt our necks.” Ollie chuckled, deep and raspy and broken.
This is gold
Don't be transphobic.
I’m not it was a slight joke I am trans-
> short story
*scrolls down and sees an infinitely long comment thread*
Sorry, is that bad? Genuine question
Oh, on the contrary, we'd all be happy if you wrote an entire novel! I just found it funny when you said it like that :)
Ok, sick, I’m glad! I’d just hate to annoy anyone, lol
No actually I'm a woman that leans more towards feminine looking boys. Man the toxic masculinity is so pathetic lol
He's about to drink that whole can of tuna juice.
Tsundere gay jocks?
" I didn't know doing your dad is gay"
Secret Combo: murder